Thursday, March 14, 2013


It has always been a pet peeve of mine when people decide to post vague facebook
posts about saying "uggh. i hate this..." "i don't know what to do..." or "this is terrible..."
(please take note of the dot dot dots. ha!) they just annoy me because they can sometimes
come across as over dramatic. i have decided to go in the opposite direction.
i will write an entire blog post about how i'm feeling right now. so, you may
consider this your fair warning:)

There are some days when i'm okay with being in Massachusetts and there are
certainly those days when i just want to be back in Virginia. i want to be in an
area where i'm familiar with where things are, i want to be with Erik on his break
and feel that it is entirely unfair that i feel like all i ever see on facebook, instagram
twitter are pictures of happy couples being all lovey dovey. or couples complaining
 about how it's too hard to "go a whole week without seeing my baby, blah blah."
it annoys me. to no end. hello! i'm over here hundreds and hundreds of miles away
from my man and i see him MAYBE once every 3 or 4 months and as it stands right
now, i don't know when i'll be with him again. I have days when i can take everything
in stride and just let it all play out without tripping me up and those where every little
things irritates me. those "good" days can be summed up with the word contentment
and the bad ones, you guessed it, discontentment.

Today i woke up tired. i woke up sick--again. i woke up discouraged. i woke up
frusterated. I chose discontentment. that was a mistake! I was having some Jesus time
this morning and i came across a statement..."i am in charge of how i feel and today i am
choosing to be content." That is my choice today. to be content no matter what or how i feel.

"...Godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6

Saturday, March 9, 2013


I do not think i have been sledding since i was like 9.
i'm not even kidding.
my friend shannon knew of this cool park to sled at
and since we got slammed with snow, we decided to make
the most of it and go sledding. it was so fun! :)

the snow was really heavy so we pretty much ended
up falling down the hill instead of sliding, but it was great
exercise, i'm sure!

A plank eyed saint with a heart divided

"Jesus friend of sinners we have strayed so far away we cut down people 
in your name but the sword was never ours to swing, Jesus friend of sinners 
the truth's become so hard to see, the world is on their way to you but 
they're tripping over me. always looking around but never looking up i'm 
so double minded, a plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided."

These are some of the words to a song that has really spoken to me the past
few days. I have been to church probably 899 of the 900 Sundays I've been
alive for. probably in the front pew with each of my siblings, parents and myself
with our Bibles on our laps and our eyes up front. My dad is also a missionary.
what is my point? i have spent a very lot of time around christians. i have been
loved, hated, looked up to and despised by them. there is one thing that has
baffled me for most of my life. why can church be such a dangerous place?
and i think that i have drawn my conclusion. because a lot of people within it have
some warped impression that Jesus only came so that good people can go
to heaven. Nothing, and i mean NOTHING, could be farther from the truth.
if that were the truth, i assure you, i would not be going.

It makes me so sad that hurting people can step foot into the walls of
a church or the home of a christian, be desperately searching for answers and hope
and leave feeling judged, worthless and hopeless. this should never happen.
NO person is perfect. i firmly believe that every single one of us has some sin
or temptation that we struggle with--i know i do. the fact is, Jesus came to free us
from the sin we have in our lives...not to brag on the ones who say they have none and
wave it in the faces of those who are in bondage and looking for answers.

what if all of us who professes to be a christian took a look at our lives
and realized that we are sinners. that although we may not be living in the
severe consequences that someone else is living in, all of us were, at some point,
on our way to a Christless eternity just as fast as everyone else is.

May it never be said of us that someone, searching for the hope of Jesus, felt
hopeless and not good enough to believe, be saved and live a life free from
their bondage because WE wanted them to think of us as better than them.

"Jesus friend of sinners, open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
let our hearts be lead by mercy, help us reach with open hearts and open doors,
oh Jesus friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks, yours. for you are good,
you are good, and your love endures forever. 
you love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast. for the leper and the lame;
they're the reason that you came. Lord, I was that lost cause; i was the outcast, 
you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at your feet."

Monday, March 4, 2013

ice style.

I have never been able to eat very much dairy because it makes me feel sick. ugh.
Lately i've been making my own tropical ice cream using just fruit and greek yogurt.
It's so yummy. If i want it softer, i just add some coconut milk and if i have real hankerin'
for something a little sweeter, i'll put in some maple syrup.

I made this tonight for me and then everyone else wanted some so i made some more.
frozen pineapple, banana, mango, peach and some greek yogurt. (i know the coconut
milk is in the picture but i forgot to put it in...oops.) just threw it all in the vitamix
and used the tamper...(with the cover ON, nanny. ha!) it was great:)

Cinnamon pull apart bread

I pinned this recipe forever ago and today I decided to make it! I put all the stuff together I went to put the eggs in and realized we were out! A few hours later mom went out to get some. I think because I had already heated stuff and had to cool it and reheat it I think it made the dough a little tougher than I wanted but it's definitely a keeper and I'd make it again :)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

lazy days

Lazy days are something i used to like a lot. It used to be that on such days
i would meet someone at starbucks, or go to sweet frog and the mall
or hang out and watch movies with Erik, but since we have moved that
has not been the case. Lazy days consist of either tons of school or just
painting and repainting my nails--alone.
The past few weeks i have realized that i think those very lonely days will perhaps
be fewer and farther between than they have been--thankfully!

This is a little late but lately CC has been cancelled for random reasons and so
I've been free for the most part the past two Thursdays.

A friend of mine has Thursdays off from work and school so it worked out
great for me to go over to her house and make it a tea/cake/movie/crocheting day:)

It's been great to get to know her and her sister. Since we've moved i really
haven't met many people at all so I am just normally trying to fill my time at
home with something to do by myself. What a blessing they are :)