A plank eyed saint with a heart divided

"Jesus friend of sinners we have strayed so far away we cut down people 
in your name but the sword was never ours to swing, Jesus friend of sinners 
the truth's become so hard to see, the world is on their way to you but 
they're tripping over me. always looking around but never looking up i'm 
so double minded, a plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided."

These are some of the words to a song that has really spoken to me the past
few days. I have been to church probably 899 of the 900 Sundays I've been
alive for. probably in the front pew with each of my siblings, parents and myself
with our Bibles on our laps and our eyes up front. My dad is also a missionary.
what is my point? i have spent a very lot of time around christians. i have been
loved, hated, looked up to and despised by them. there is one thing that has
baffled me for most of my life. why can church be such a dangerous place?
and i think that i have drawn my conclusion. because a lot of people within it have
some warped impression that Jesus only came so that good people can go
to heaven. Nothing, and i mean NOTHING, could be farther from the truth.
if that were the truth, i assure you, i would not be going.

It makes me so sad that hurting people can step foot into the walls of
a church or the home of a christian, be desperately searching for answers and hope
and leave feeling judged, worthless and hopeless. this should never happen.
NO person is perfect. i firmly believe that every single one of us has some sin
or temptation that we struggle with--i know i do. the fact is, Jesus came to free us
from the sin we have in our lives...not to brag on the ones who say they have none and
wave it in the faces of those who are in bondage and looking for answers.

what if all of us who professes to be a christian took a look at our lives
and realized that we are sinners. that although we may not be living in the
severe consequences that someone else is living in, all of us were, at some point,
on our way to a Christless eternity just as fast as everyone else is.

May it never be said of us that someone, searching for the hope of Jesus, felt
hopeless and not good enough to believe, be saved and live a life free from
their bondage because WE wanted them to think of us as better than them.

"Jesus friend of sinners, open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
let our hearts be lead by mercy, help us reach with open hearts and open doors,
oh Jesus friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks, yours. for you are good,
you are good, and your love endures forever. 
you love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast. for the leper and the lame;
they're the reason that you came. Lord, I was that lost cause; i was the outcast, 
you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at your feet."